Being a Queen is the goal. Being a B*tch is a hassle.

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I’ve been so consumed with being a new mommy that I haven’t had time to sit and write but, I was determined to connect with you today. I hope you Queens miss me as much as I miss you. I wasn’t sure what I’d write about when I first pulled out my computer but I came across something on my instagram that I thought it was necessary to address. I came across a post of a young lady gloating about having a bad attitude and being unfriendly and I was just wondering why does she see this as something to brag about?

I’ve always heard young ladies say “I’m not friendly” or “You cant handle my attitude” and  never understood why being unfriendly and having a bad attitude is viewed as good attributes by some young black females. As if black women aren’t already viewed as angry and unapproachable, some of us flaunt it as if it’s a badge of honor and I just would like to understand why. Why is there anything wrong with being friendly and kind? You’d be surprised how many opportunities can pass you by because you have a bad attitude or how many divine connections you may pass up because you are unfriendly. You can not attract the right people in your life when you’re constantly shutting people out. The scripture says that God draws his people with love and with kindness (Jeremiah 31:3) so what makes you believe that you will attract the right people in your life by being the opposite?

Priding yourself in having an attitude that no one can “handle” does no good for anyone. Why do we as women, black women especially always feel like our attitudes are something that have to be “handled”? Why is it uncommon to be a pleasure to be around? Your man shouldnt have to handle you, you should be his safe haven and his place of peace. Please don’t get me wrong and take this as me telling you to be a push over. I don’t mean that in any way at all but, constantly being a tough cookie for absolutely no reason at all is exhausting to the person that has to deal with you.

There are people waiting to meet you and a great man waiting to love you but you have to be receptive. You have to be a woman. A woman who is soft, kind, sweet, and ready to receive. It’s okay to let your guard down, with the right people of course and just allow yourself to be kind and friendly. Pay someone a compliment or a smile instead of mean mugging and being rude, you’ll be surprised at the difference it’ll make you feel. Your loving and kind energy will attract people to you who are meant to be in your life. Do not allow the stigma of being hard and unapproachable block your blessings. Being a Queen is the goal being  a B*tch is a hassle. Save your self the trouble and lose the tough girl act because not everyone is out to get you.

Communicate with me and tell me what you think! Leave a comment here or interact with me on social media at and Instagram and Twitter @shanice_Royal Thank you for your support,

Love you Queen,

Shanice Royal


2 thoughts on “Being a Queen is the goal. Being a B*tch is a hassle.”

  1. I think some women do this as a defense mechanism not realizing that there is no need to be defensive and they are actually being quite offensive in the process. I’m also tired of the Angry Black Woman stigma and feel that it is okay to be well-rounded. There’s no need to live in the box of societal categorization. I like being nice and the genuine smiles I get in return are rewarding.


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